Open Secret to a Healthy, Happy and Successful Marriage

“If I get married, I want to be very married.”

Yes, this quote says it all!

Marriage is to keep forever! But it does not happen on its own; it is not an automatic process. Marriage is always a work in progress.

Each day is a new one. You are not the same person what you were yesterday, neither is your partner then how could a relationship will remain the same with each passing days?

One has to work each day to keep

marriage intact- It is not easy, it is very tough but you still want to do it because you want your marriage to work, because you want to keep it forever, because you married this person… you had reason and you have reason.

Happy is the marriage in which you find a true friend. How true is this! Only if we could understand the deeper meaning of this.

Be a friend to your partner before

becoming anything else, no relation or bonding is stronger than the bonding of friendship which brings forth an unconditional and strong love.

Communication is the key. It opens and keeps all doors open- forever!

It is said: “It can’t get lonelier than spending your life with someone you can’t talk to, or worse, someone you can’t be silent with.” So both, verbal as well as non- verbal, communications are equally important.

Talk every day, even if it is for a short while. Also, just sit and spend time in stillness every day.

Don’t lose your individuality. You lived your life as an individual with your unique identity till you got married and it is not practically possible to dissolve yourself, your uniqueness, and, become someone else. Keep your individuality intact.

You are not born with this relation. Marriages are made. It is made up of trust, love and then the eternal bonding. Hence each day you have to nurture it with the (self) belief that it is here to stay, to flourish. There is nothing ‘given’ in this relation and you cannot afford to take it for granted.

Give space to each- other. Be together but always give space to one another. Enjoy the life together but also have “Me” time. Clingi

ng is suffocating. Have your own set of friends, pursue a hobby of your choice, and once in a while go on trips separately. You would want more of each- other when you give space to each other. A bit of distance brings more closeness and it keeps the romance alive.

Love is never binding, to love someone is to give freedom and have faith in ‘self’. Walk together yet not too close to stumble. A strong structure stands on pillars but strength comes only when the pillars stand apart.

It is more than equality. It is said; marriage is about equality and both the partners have to put equal effort, contribute equally to keep the marriage successful.

But the truth seems to be something very different. It is never about equal effort or same amount of contribution. It is like a see- saw. Someone puts the other on higher pedestal, someone falls in love first, someone works harder to keep things normal and going, someone adjust more, someone adapt more easily, someone let the other have the way. It is much more than being equal.

Accept the person as a whole. When you ente

r into the relationship, you look at and fall for all the perfect aspects of the personality of your partner and that is a normal human phenomenon.

Know that anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that is not what it is or should be. Are you ready to accept the flaws as well? Your marriage is successful when you understand the fact that no one is perfect and that includes you as well, along with your partner.

Maintain a balance. Keep a proper balance in work and life, social and personal life, friends and family life. Ensure to have balanced approach in all facet of life in order to keep your marriage strong.

Agree to disagree. You do not need to agree to everything your partner says; neither have to disagree to everything your partner says. It is a sign of mature relation where you can have a healthy discussion without getting offended, and, disagree with your partner without any fear. It is OK to fight.

Own it. Indian marriages do not happen between two individuals, it happens between two families. Along with your partner, own the family as well- the recipe of a healthy marriage. And own it rightfully! Remember, none of you are doing any favor to the other one.

You are not in a competition. You are into a marriag

e and that can be an alliance, a coalition but not a competition. You have come together to get more from life, to make your journey more beautiful and meaningful. The competitiveness in marriage is surely going to mar it. So watch it.

Love your partner before your kids. Yes, your partner comes before your kids. By doing this, you set a right example for your kids, they learn to respect and value relationships. By loving your partner first, you are raising a kid who knows what a loving, healthy, mutually respectful marriage looks like.

Have intimate moments as often as possible. This is the golden rule of successful marriage which normally couple tend to ignore after few years of marriage. Never let those special and intimate moments go off from your life. Steal, beg, borrow- do whatever it takes to have “those” moments. You don’t always need to plan or have time for them, at times let it be unplanned, spontaneous to keep the spark on.

DO NOT try to change the other. Know that any change starts from self. Instead of trying to change your partner, put that effort in self. Seeing you doing, willingly without any expectation, might make your partner also do the same (in most likelihood). There is always scope for improvement, so improve and become a better version of yourself- for sa

ke of a healthy relationship!

Drop the ego. This is one thing always ‘missing’ in a healthy and successful relationship. Ego has not done any good to anyone ever. Understand that the person and relationship is anytime more important than keeping an ego and destroy them all.

Discuss your finances with each other. Always! Share your views on finances, your spending pattern, and, your views on investments. Plan your monthly and annual budget together. In today’s time, finance plays a very crucial role in marital relation. Your relation with money will define (in majority if not entirely) your relation with your partner.

Make Humor and fun an integral part. Life does not take itself seriously. Being serious will not change anything or bring solution to any challenges but facing them with humor will! It is very important to look for opportunities to have fun in life, go on vacation, travel together, watch movies together, watch comedy shows together: just have f

un in any and every smallest of things.

Respect your partner. Keep the respect and sanctity of marriage by giving respect to your partner. Especially, in no circumstance humiliate or disrespect or make fun of your partner in front of others. Each one has their own dignity and value and you ought to value the value of the relationship.